so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
