Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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