goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
