somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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