you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
