Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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