If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
