Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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