I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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