I got chris browned last night
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
