i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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