Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
