forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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