Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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