At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?