are you still at the devil's house?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I CAN MOONWALK!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
