That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today