Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
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he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
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Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.