Ambien. No doubt about it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.