Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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