My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
