I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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