there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....