It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.