ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
