Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
