I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
