I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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