Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
