Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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