I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
