First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize