he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .