"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif