The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
