college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
