STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
