is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
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While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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