I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
