Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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