You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
