The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
