I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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