my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.