I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head