That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
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You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
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I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.