dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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