What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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