The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
