I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Help. Why am I so naked?