we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
