Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
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he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
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Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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