Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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