Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
