Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
