did you get engaged???
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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