Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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