yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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