Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
