help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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