My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
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