So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
