so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
