Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He literally asked permission to hit on me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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