There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
